Parent's Refusal to Cut Kids' Allowance to Match Stepsister's Sparks Debate (2024)

When it comes a child's allowance, how much is "too much"?

A dad ignited a fierce debate among Mumsnet users after sharing the amount he gives his teenage son and daughter per week.

Posting to Mumsnet's Am I Being Unreasonable? (AIBU) forum on September 15, user ormav explained he'd fallen out with his ex and her new husband over their children's allowance.

His ex feels it's unfair that their teens get more allowance than their stepsister, with the situation creating tension in their household. They want him to reduce the amount he gives his own children, with his refusal dividing opinions online.

What Is the Average Allowance?

A 2020 study by RoosterMoney—an app that aims to teach children about money management—found 69 percent of parents gave their children a regular allowance.

Surveying their 50,000 users, they discovered that kids between the ages of 4 and 14 were given $9.59 a week on average, totalling almost $500 a year. Rather than spending it all straight away, kids saved 42 percent of their allowances, with Lego sets the most "saved for" toy that year.

However, a 2019 survey conducted by The Harris Poll suggested that the average allowance is three times the amount indicated by RoosterMoney. Interviewing American parents with at least one child at home, they put the average allowance amount at $30 a week, or $1,500 a year. Eighty percent of parents said their children received an allowance in exchange for chores, with kids spending 5.1 hours a week on average on household tasks.

'It's Not Your Problem'

In his post, ormav said he gives his 15-year-old daughter £45 a week (roughly $51) and his 12-year-old son £36 ($41). The amount is £3 multiplied by their age, a formula he agreed with his wife while they were still together.

His ex-wife recently remarried, with her new husband having a 14-year-old daughter. The teen recently found out how much her step siblings receive a week, leading to "jealousy issues and fighting."

"Their stepsister only receives £10 a week," he wrote. "Both my ex and her husband said that I need to lower the kids allowance.

"They say that inequality like that between children in the same household can severely adversely affect their sibling relationship."

The poster told them if "there is inequality in their household that it is their responsibility to deal with it," suggesting they raise the stepdaughter's allowance instead.

"They told me that they couldn't afford to give her that much," he said. "But even if they could, they wouldn't because they don't believe children their ages should have access to the amount of money they have.

"They say that continuing to give them this much pocket money will also make them spoiled, entitled and bad with money."

Although he knows his children's allowance is "on the higher side," they do not act spoiled or entitled.

"They never demand to have things and accept when things don't go as planned," he said. "They do their chores without complaint and do well in school.

"They are the opposite of bad with money, as they both have saved up a significant amount in their accounts and aren't just spending their money on pointless things as soon as they get it."

Fellow parents were divided on the issue, with more than 300 comments from users in less than 24 hours.

Many felt that the amount was too high for their age, with loveireland calling it a "hell of a lot of money."

"You are giving them far too much," said nachoavocado.

"You're not setting them up well for life by giving them access to that much cash now," wrote EscapeRoomToTheSun. "They will have no financial skills, no awareness of the cost of things."

Other users said the ex-wife is being unreasonable, with ParentallyUnprepared commenting "it's not your problem."

"It's not for ex (and certainly not her [husband]!) to stipulate what you can and cannot give YOUR children," said lickennugget. "The happiness of some child who is completely unconnected to you is irrelevant."

"If you can afford it then give your children what you want, it sounds like they are saving/managing it well," wrote BuffaloCauliflower.

While whumpthereitis said: "Changing what your children have always known to benefit a stepsister that is nothing to do with you will only lead to them resenting her, their mother, and indeed you.

"Carry on [as] you have been doing, this isn't a problem that is yours to solve."

Newsweek wasn't able to verify the details of this case.

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